Putin's Folly: The Collection!

I spend much of my online time on the news aggregate site Fark.com.
Since the invasion of Ukraine began, the site has hosted a daily thread of news, videos and comments about the war's events from site members.
My contribution to these threads has been Putin's Folly, an attempt to lighten what are sometimes very dark conversations.

Putin's Folly is written in the style of the classic Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons, where the next episode is given a crazy pair of titles, like:
"Bullseye Bullwinkle" or "Destination Moose!"
Though it began on May 16th, 2022 (day 82 of the war), I didn't start with the Rocky and Bullwinkle jokes until May 21st (day 87).
Some day's entries are straight from Rocky and Bullwinkle, but most are my own TV and movie references.

Another classic TV reference is "A Quinn Martin Production."
Quinn Martin was a televison producer in the 1960s and 1970s who liked putting his name right in the opening credits, on shows like
The Streets of San Francisco and The Invaders.

Put them all together and you get Putin's Folly, which I'll keep writing as long until the war ends - which I pray is very soon.

Let's begin!

Day 82
(May 16th, 2022)

"Good morning, everyone, and welcome to today's episode of Putin's Folly!
It promises to be a clusterfuck of epic proportions!
So settle in, grab a cold beverage and watch the insanity! Thanks and enjoy!"

Hello, folks, it's time once again for:
PUTIN'S FOLLY!
Today's episode: "An Icicle Built For Two," or "None Like It Hot!"
We know it'll be as exciting for you as it is for us. Let's watch!

Hello, folks, and welcome to today's episode of
PUTIN'S FOLLY!
Today's epsiode: "Farewell, My Ugly," or "Knots to You!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Today's episode: "Bomb Voyage," or "I Get A Bang Out of You!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Today's episode: "The Crosby Skates At Midnight," or "The Class of '87 Had Its Dreams!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Today's episode: "Explosive Situation," or "Don't Make it Worse - It's Badenov!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Today's episode: "Vlad Blood," or "Tank Space!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Today's episode: "The Brave and The Bold and The Beautiful," or "Veterinarian's Hospital!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha raid Soviet-era tank depots in today's episode:
"Thunderbolt Greaseslapper," or "Shitty Shitty Bang Bang!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)
Boris and Natasha muck up the Black Sea Blockade in today's episode:
"The Deep Six and 7/8ths," or "The Enema Below!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn-Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha take a T-62 through its ... "paces" in today's episode:
"Crash Test Dummies," or "Oedipus Wrecks!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn-Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha cavort in the Carpathians in today's episode:
"Force 10 from Provolone," or "Avalanche is Better Than None!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha are assigned to the motor pool in today's exciting episode:
"Uneasy Rider," or "One Piece At A Time!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha are assigned to a field hospital in today's exciting episode:
"Crazed Anatomy," or "Suture Self!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha look for Russia's missing generals in today's exciting episode:
"The Long Dosvedanya," or "Dial B for Badenov!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn-Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha try to make trouble for the Finns in today's exciting episode:
"East of Sweden," or "Rebel Without A Pause!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn-Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha join a Moscow dueling club in today's exciting episode:
"Foiled Again," or "Don't Fence Me In!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn-Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha find themselves on KP in today's exciting episode:
"When Food Trucks Collide," or "The Day The Borscht Stood Still!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha endanger an Explosive Ordnance Unit in today's exciting episode:
"The Harder They Fall," or "Love Is A Many Splintered Thing!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha get in a furball with the Russian Air Force in today's exciting episode:
"When Flankers Dare," or "Strategic Bear Command!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha drill deep into a Moscow dentistry in today's exciting episode:
"Pull At My Tooth Strings", or "The Novocaine Mutiny!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha tackle noise pollution in a combat zone in today's exciting episode:
"The Sound and the Yuri", or "The Roaring Twenties!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha go back to school in today's exciting episode:
"Private Badenov," or "No Spies Like Us!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha dally on the Dnieper in today's exciting episode:
"The Crimean Queen," or "The Spies Must Flow!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha are determined to delouse in today's exciting episode:
"The Drain Maker", or "These Desperate Showers!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha pursue The Invaders through The Streets of San Francisco in today's exciting episode:
"Loose Cannon," or "Badenov Jones!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha investigate a ring of farmer's market chop shops in today's exciting episode:
"The Great Tank Robberies," or "Gone In 60 Seconds!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Fearless Leader joins Boris and Natasha to investigate pastry smuggling in today's exciting episode:
"Donuts to You," or "Two Guys, A Girl and a Pyshka Place!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha find out what "HIMARS" really means in today's exciting episode:
"Tears in Steel Rain," or "The Artilleryman Always Shoots Twice!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha play cat-and-mouse with a drone swarm in today's exciting episode:
"The Naked Oblast," or "The Night Has A Thousand FLIRs!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha both say "Phuket" and enjoy an exotic vacation in today's exciting episode:
"Thai A Yellow Ribbon," or "Bangkok The Drum Slowly!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha's train trip back from vacation does not go well in today's exciting episode:
"The Darjeeling Very Limited," or "The Polar Express 2: Dark Territory!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha’s tangle with some cagey kaiju in today's exciting episode:
"Black Sea Rim," or "War! Of! The! Gargantuas!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha find out why it’s called "Snake Island" in today's exciting episode:
"Escape from Sevastopol," or "They Call Me MISTER Plisken!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha try to get something - anything - into the air in today's exciting episode:
"The High and the Flighty," or "Concordeski - Aeroflot '79!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha finding themselves staring at the bravest Ukrainian livestock in today's exciting episode:
"The Goat and Mr. Chicken," or "The Kid!"
Have a great day!

(I was running out of ideas by this point, so this was when I went on my "summer hiatus," meaning "I'll post again whenever I think of something.")

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha try to get back to work during an "operational pause" in today's exciting episode:
"The Hitchers," or "No Planes, No Trains and No Automobiles!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha try to keep the Kerch Strait Bridge open in today's exciting episode:
"Bridge of Spies," or "Crimea River!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha must keep just one ammo dump running in today's exciting episode:
"HIMARS O’Clock High," or "Hellfighters II: Explosive Boogaloo!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
"Fearless" Leader heads to Teheran to exchange tahdig recipes in today's exciting episode:
"Minaret Rice," or "Sharif Don't Like It!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha put new drones through their paces in today's exciting episode:
"Borscht Hero 6," or "Short Circuit 3: The Revenge!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha help "Fearless" Leader with his vacation plans in today's exciting episode:
"Valley of The Nesting Dolls," or "Irpin Holiday!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha do battle with tracksuit-wearing Elvis impersonators in today's exciting episode:
"Blue Crimea," or "5500 Miles to Graceland!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha do battle with their most notorious opponent - Corona Chan! - in today's exciting episode:
"How Green Was My Mucus," or "Phlegm at 11!"

Seriously, COVID sucks. It's knocked Mrs. Guilty down for the count, and I'm not in great shape either.
Stay safe, and have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha investigate the sudden appearance of High-Speed Anti-Russian Missiles in today's exciting episode:
"My HARM Comes Over The Ocean," or "I AM (WILD) WEASEL!"
Stay safe, and have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha celebrate Ukrainian Independence Day in today's exciting episode:
"The HIMARS Heard Round The World," or "Twenty-One Drone Salute!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha are assigned to a combat engineer unit in today's exciting episode:
"A Bridge Too Far," or "Bring In Da Noise, Bring In Defunct!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha have to find a new place in a hurry in today's exciting episode:
"Evicted With Prejudice," or "Wey've Lost Our Lease, Everything Must Go!"

Then stay turned for a Very Special episode:
"Lifestyles of The Broke and Broken!"

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha try to find an alternator in today's exciting episode:
"Sanfordski and Son," or "The Junkman Cometh!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha buy a bungalow in Brighton Beach in today's exciting episode:
"Coming to America," or "The Out-of-Towners!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha let an experimental fuel get out of hand in today's exciting episode:
"The Nutty Professors," or "Boris Bungles Again!"
Have a great day!

(The source image, from Farker TheDogDidIt):

My inspired lunacy:

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha investigate aircraft sabotage in today's exciting episode:
"Orcs on a Plane," or "Airport '22, with George Kennedy and Helen Hayes!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha become substitute teachers in today's exciting episode:
"Unreal Genius," or "Back to School 2: Moscow Boogaloo!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha learn that some resort stays are not what they seem in today's exciting episode:
"Rubble With A View," or "Doom Service!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha learn another meaning of the word "Patriot" in today's exciting episode:
"The Long Arm of The Law," or "Reach Out and Touch Someone!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha start the New Year on the very wrong foot in today's exciting episode:
"An Oblast to Remember," or "The Potemkin Adventure!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha reflect on Season One and discuss potential Season Two hijinks in today's exciting episode:
"Anniversary Party," or "The Best Years of Our Lives!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha travel back in time to witness the "rapid unscheduled demolition" of Chernobyl in today's exciting episode:
"Cherenkov Blue Velvet," or "Atom and Eve!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha find themselves as "honored guests" in a place they don't want to be, in today's exciting episode:
"March of the Vatniks," or "Fool's Parade!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha celebrate Mother's Day in the most vatnik way possible in today's exciting episode:
"Mrs. Ceasefire," or "Stop Invading, Or My Mom Will Shoot!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha board a bus to Belgorod in today's exciting episode:
"The Invasion Is Coming From Inside The House," or "The Enema Within!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha see how many times they can claim victory from the same damned picture in today's episode:
"The Brave, The Bold and The Bullshit," or "Gaslight 2: Vatnik Boogaloo!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha hit the road to Rostov in today's exciting episode:
"(You Say You Want An) Insurrection," or "Red Z In The Morning, Vatniks Take Warning!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha join the rest of the world in today's inquiring episode:
"What The Fuck?!?" or "Seriously, What The Actual Fuck?!?"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha are spending today's episode in a Minsk bistro, saying to each other:
"Now Let Me Get This Straight...."
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha welcome musical guest Ancient Like Mammoth's Crap in today's exciting episode:
"(500) Days of Bummer," or As Many as Fifty Tens - And That's Turrible!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha find themselves coaching "the beautiful game" in today's exciting episode:
"Bend It Like Brezhnev," or "Kicking and Screaming 2: Gorky Boogaloo!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha sit down with the writers to come up with a bridge joke that wasn't used yesterday, in today's exciting episode:
"Bridge Under Troubled Water," or "The Long And Buckling Road!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha get a taste of their own medicine in today's exciting episode:
"Special Surprise Inside," or "Bomblets Away!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha are assigned to a Moscow fire brigade in today's exciting episode:
"The Continuing Adventures of Royski DeSotov," or "The Revolution Is Coming - From Inside The House!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha explore the art of autopugilism in today's exciting episode:
"Float Like A Lead Balloon, Sting Like A Butterfly," or "Stop Hitting Yourself! Stop Hitting Yourself!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha have never been more grateful to miss their connecting flight than in today's exciting episode:
"Mistakes On A Plane," or "Airplane 3: Moon Over Moscow!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha grab welding hoods and gloves in today's exciting episode:
"Goliath Awaits Again," or "Under Siege 3: Sevastopol Surprise!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha start looking an Vault-Tec futures in today's exciting episode:
"Metro 2023: The Borscht Awakens," or "We'll Meet Again (Some Sunny Day)!"
Have a great day!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to
Putin's Folly (A Quinn Martin Production)!
Boris and Natasha lament the effectiveness of "friendly fire" in today's exciting episode:
"A-Five-Zero Hour," or "Mainstay - Airport '24!"

Then stay tuned for a sneak peek of
Putin's Folly Season Three: "Back In Training!"
Have a great day!

To Be Concluded (someday soon....)

Slava Ukraini!